This is a personal blogpost to me. It is the first time I’m actually talking about relationships in this blog. More specifically, my relationship.
So, I have been dating someone for over a year now. I first got to know her in 2017, a time when I knew I was done with relationships for good. It felt like I was going through a bad streak with relationships. No longer did I want to bear the pain of another failed attempt. All I wanted at that time was just a friend.
That’s when I met her online. Whatever urged me to slide into her DM is still a mystery to me but I’m glad I did so. From the moment I said hi, it was as if we had known each other in other lifetimes. We used to look forward to talking to each other every single night. You should have seen me eating my food quickly so that I would get back to the chat using my laptop. I should mention that my Samsung phone’s battery had depreciated I considered it useless.
Our chats lasted into the wee hours of the morning. Just like any regular teenager normally would but this was different. Nothing was forced and both of us genuinely liked each other. I, however, didn’t want it to stick to online chats; I wanted to see her.
One day, I decided to ask her if we could meet up for a lunch date. Never have I ever typed words so anxiously like that day. It got worse when anxiety hit me when I hit the send button. My face looked something like this:
She said yes.
On the day of our first meet, I became nervous again. What if I got cat-fished? Maybe I’m the one who cat-fished her? Maybe both. Boy, I was a mess. But then she appeared. It was as if I saw an angel coming my way. All of my doubts were washed away in an instant. “My God, she is beautiful”.
One date turned into several dates and with each meet up, the attraction between the two of us got stronger. Things were definitely going great but I was faced with a problem. There I was telling myself how I don’t want another relationship but the Universe thinks otherwise. “What should I do? Here I am with this amazing person but then again, I don’t think I’m ready for another relationship”.
I consider it to be one of the most defining moments in my life. Not sure if everyone has ever had this kind of scenario but it can really change everything for you. At the end, I decided to be in this new relationship. This time, I had no expectations, no limits and no regrets.
Words fail to describe how awesome this relationship has been. Who can ever forget last year’s Valentine’s day when we went to see the pre-screening of The Black Panther. In addition to seeing a great movie, we got each other gifts: She got me this cool iPhone case and I got her a watch.
Countless dates and wonderful moments later, the relationship is doing better than ever. There is an important lesson that I have learned from being with this wonderful soul, it is the aspect of self-love. I have learned to appreciate myself more. Perhaps I would be lying to myself if I declared that I loved her when I can barely try to love myself. This is also true for her and it showed when we had our spats. Thankfully, we knew what we had was bigger than our petty issues.
At those moments, I used to ask myself, “Is this how I would treat myself?” The answer always remained the same: No. And at that moment, I found myself no longer having a grudge and apologize to her. She, in return, admits that she doesn’t want to fight and we come out of it being better people than before.
For sure, there are more lessons to be learned in the near future. As long as I’m with her, I know everything will be fine. Unfortunately, I might not be able to celebrate Valentine’s day with her this year but I want her to know that she is an amazing soul and I’m more than grateful for having her in my life.
Thank you, Jojo.