The Anomaly Diary

The Chronicles Of A Kenyan Campus Student

Lord, make it stop! 😢

Disclaimer: Some of the things I’m about to mention are yet to happen to me and I certainly pray to God that they don’t happen to me during my final stretch. Lord, I know you can hear me. Guide and protect me.

It is a September, the beginning of a new year and semester for me. With the new semester comes a new me. No more showing up late for class, no more drinking and no more procrastination. As a matter of fact, I’ll report to campus on time. This is the new me.

*Reports to campus early*

Yes! I did it. This is just the first step in the direction. If I keep this up, my grades will only be Bs and As. I can’t wait to get things done. Let me check up on my pals.

*Calls buddy one*

“Yo! Where you at man? It’s been a while.”

“Still at home nigga. What you doing in campus this early?”

“Well, I decided to be a new person this semester. I’m a changed man”

“Nigga what? 😂😂 You crazy man.”

“So when are you coming back?”

“I don’t know, after a month maybe.”

“Aren’t you worried about the lectures?”

“Since when did you start caring about the lectures?”

“Since I decided to be a new man”

“Whatever nigga”

Forget him. It seems he will never change. As for me, things will only get better. I’m sure of it.

*Goes for the first lecture of the semester*

Look at me arriving early for the lecture. I think I deserve a medal for this effort. It sure does feel good being on the right side.

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Where are these guys? Where is the lecturer? Let me call the representative

*Makes the call*

“Hey, where are you guys? I have been waiting for you guys like forever”

“Haven’t you seen the message I sent to the chat group? The lecturer sent a message saying that she won’t be able to make it”

“Are you kidding me?”

*Hangs up to check his messages*

You got to be shitting me. What a waste of time.

*Two weeks later*

Nothing. No lecturer is yet to attend the lectures. You know what? I’m better off being at home.

*Packs some clothes and heads for the campus exit*

I feel wasted. So much for making a change.

*Meets up with Buddy one*

“Yo! Where are you headed?”

“I’m going for the afternoon lecture”

“You mean to tell me that there is a lecture happening right now?”

“What do you think”

“Great. Just great”

*Six weeks into the semester*

You know what? I have been attending these lectures consistently. I think I’ll give myself a well-deserved rest.

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Who’s calling me? Oh, it’s him.

*Picks up the call*


“Where you at nigga? You are in deep shit”

“What are you talking about?”

“We’ve just done a surprise test. Apparently the lecturer is leaving for Australia tomorrow”

“Are you kidding me?”

“I’m not joking man. She just left to get ready”

“Fuck!!What will I do?”

“You’re on your own bro”

Damn! Damn! Damn!

*Two weeks before the examinations*

Okay, I have to make up for missing that CAT. I need to get my shit together. This weekend is all about my books.

*Gets a phone call*

What does he want now?


“Nigga, we about to get lit! Where are you?”

“I’m busy studying for my exams”

“Stop being a pussy. We got all the ladies in the house. Come on, it will be fun”

“Okay, just one drink then I’m out of there”

*One drink later*

This party is off the chain

*Two drinks later*

Whoa! I never knew she was this hot. Look at that ass. God damn.

*10 drinks later*

You know what? Fuck campus. Fuck it. Fuck the system. Fuck the administration. Fuck the lecturers. Fuck the students. Fuck everyone.

*Two days to the exam*

Holy shit, I haven’t studied. How did one drink turn into two weeks of insanity?

*Exam day one*

So much for trying. 🤷‍

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