Disclaimer: Some of the things I’m about to mention are yet to happen to me and I certainly pray to God that they don’t happen to me during my final stretch. Lord, I know you can hear me. Guide and protect me.
It is a September, the beginning of a new year and semester for me. With the new semester comes a new me. No more showing up late for class, no more drinking and no more procrastination. As a matter of fact, I’ll report to campus on time. This is the new me.
*Reports to campus early*
Yes! I did it. This is just the first step in the direction. If I keep this up, my grades will only be Bs and As. I can’t wait to get things done. Let me check up on my pals.
*Calls buddy one*
“Yo! Where you at man? It’s been a while.”
“Still at home nigga. What you doing in campus this early?”
“Well, I decided to be a new person this semester. I’m a changed man”
“Nigga what? 😂😂 You crazy man.”
“So when are you coming back?”
“I don’t know, after a month maybe.”
“Aren’t you worried about the lectures?”
“Since when did you start caring about the lectures?”
“Since I decided to be a new man”
Forget him. It seems he will never change. As for me, things will only get better. I’m sure of it.
*Goes for the first lecture of the semester*
Look at me arriving early for the lecture. I think I deserve a medal for this effort. It sure does feel good being on the right side.
Where are these guys? Where is the lecturer? Let me call the representative
*Makes the call*
“Hey, where are you guys? I have been waiting for you guys like forever”
“Haven’t you seen the message I sent to the chat group? The lecturer sent a message saying that she won’t be able to make it”
“Are you kidding me?”
*Hangs up to check his messages*
You got to be shitting me. What a waste of time.
*Two weeks later*
Nothing. No lecturer is yet to attend the lectures. You know what? I’m better off being at home.
*Packs some clothes and heads for the campus exit*
I feel wasted. So much for making a change.
*Meets up with Buddy one*
“Yo! Where are you headed?”
“I’m going for the afternoon lecture”
“You mean to tell me that there is a lecture happening right now?”
“What do you think”
“Great. Just great”
*Six weeks into the semester*
You know what? I have been attending these lectures consistently. I think I’ll give myself a well-deserved rest.
Who’s calling me? Oh, it’s him.
*Picks up the call*
“Where you at nigga? You are in deep shit”
“What are you talking about?”
“We’ve just done a surprise test. Apparently the lecturer is leaving for Australia tomorrow”
“Are you kidding me?”
“I’m not joking man. She just left to get ready”
“Fuck!!What will I do?”
“You’re on your own bro”
Damn! Damn! Damn!
*Two weeks before the examinations*
Okay, I have to make up for missing that CAT. I need to get my shit together. This weekend is all about my books.
*Gets a phone call*
What does he want now?
“Nigga, we about to get lit! Where are you?”
“I’m busy studying for my exams”
“Stop being a pussy. We got all the ladies in the house. Come on, it will be fun”
“Okay, just one drink then I’m out of there”
*One drink later*
This party is off the chain
*Two drinks later*
Whoa! I never knew she was this hot. Look at that ass. God damn.
*10 drinks later*
You know what? Fuck campus. Fuck it. Fuck the system. Fuck the administration. Fuck the lecturers. Fuck the students. Fuck everyone.
*Two days to the exam*
Holy shit, I haven’t studied. How did one drink turn into two weeks of insanity?
*Exam day one*
So much for trying. 🤷