Once the door was open, Kimani found himself in a movie theater. It was the most stunning theater he has ever screen. The room filled with golden light, the seats had recliners making the viewing experience a pleasure and the screen was humongous. He actually looked like an ant from a distance. It was too good to be true.
Zadkiel: How long are you planning to admire the place before you come and sit with me?
That voice sounded familiar. It was the old man. Or Zadkiel,as he was told by Ayar and Brooke. Indeed, the place was stunning. Heck, it has been so ever since he found himself in the hallway. Everything was just magnificent. However, he needed to finish his chat with Zadkiel first before he could make his decision.
Kimani: (As he sits down) This place is amazing.
Zadkiel: Yeah. I’ve been here since the beginning of time and I still can’t stop and stare at the beauty of it all.
Kimani: That makes you an old being in the universe!
Zadkiel: Sort of. Let’s just say I was among the first groups to be created before humans.
Kimani: I’m curious, is there a hierarchy in heaven? Like, is there a chain of command around here?
Zadkiel: Yes and no. Everyone has a job to do out here. Your powers are provided based on the nature of the work you do. The chain of command comes in the form of the kind of responsibility you have. For example, Arch-Angel Michael is the caretaker of earth. No monkey business can happen when he is around. The power that he has surpasses mine by miles. Let’s not even talk about the responsibility Jesus has.
Kimani: He being our Lord and Savior?
Zadkiel: No. Like I told you the other time, we are created in God’s image. We are creators in our own right. Jesus’ main message on earth was to remind you of that simple fact. This was not taken kindly by the Pharisees and they killed him. What they didn’t know is that he had foreseen it and could have easily avoided any harm if he wished to do so. Instead, he did something that people still talk about today on earth and here in heaven. He gracefully accepted death and suffered a great deal so that he could show people that not even death would stop him from being who he is. A child of God. Just like you are one. We all are children of God.
Kimani: Why, then, do we make our prayers through him?
Zadkiel: A good question. As you have realized, it can be too much for one to take in that he/she is God in their own unique way. It messes with your mind. While it is true that you can create your own reality, how to do it can be complicated yet it is very simple. Remember when Jesus said “What I can do, you can too”? He meant that you can do anything that he can if you truly understand who you are. But, if you are having a hard time understanding yourself, you can always make a request through him and he will always be willing to help. You can imagine the kind of days he has on earth when 2 billion people are calling his name.
Kimani: Sounds like a handful.
Zadkiel: More than a handful. To finish answering your question, we are simply ranked according to our responsibilities. What I have found to be challenging is being a guardian angel.
Zadkiel: To answer that, I need to start from the beginning before you were even conceived in your mother’s womb. Before you are born, you always make that decision to go to earth. Reasons for doing so vary but it has to be your decision. Not God’s decision.
Kimani: (startled) What?! Even the place where I want to be born?
Zadkiel: Yes. Everything is decided by you. There is no such thing as a coincidence in the universe. Everything was well thought of. You even decided to pick me as your guardian angel. My job was to keep you in check during your time on earth, ensuring that you meet your goal during your time there.
Kimani: What was my goal?
Zadkiel: To be whoever you want to be.
Kimani: Anyone? Even a murderer?
Zadkiel: That’s the power of free will. You can do whatever and be whoever you want to be but you always have to be cautious about the consequences.
Kimani: Yeah, action creates an opposite and equal reaction.
Zadkiel: Exactly. For your case, things got ugly at the end.
Kimani: (becomes sad) I know. How did it all go wrong? I knew all along that I was on the right path but it was one bad moment to another. It doesn’t make any sense.
Zadkiel: Don’t be too hard on yourself. You did the best you could at the time. Sure, there are a million better ways of dealing with your scenario but it wouldn’t be handled any better than you did.
Kimani: Even when I beat Asha?
Zadkiel: Even when you beat Asha.
Kimani: How? I try so hard not to remember that day but I can still see it vividly.
The screen turns on and starts to view a scene at Kimani’s apartment. Asha is worried sick about Kimani’s safety. It’s 2 AM and he is not yet back home. She starts praying to God that he is okay. Kimani is surprised to see the scene on the screen. That was the day he beat her up. Tears began to roll down his cheeks as he remembers how beautiful Asha was. Her long hair, her dark chocolate skin, her curvaceous body and a smile so beautiful that would make anyone be relieved of their stresses. Despite Kimani making her worried sick day in day out, she never lost touch of her beauty.
Back to the scene, the door is unlocked. Kimani walks in with a bottle of vodka in his hand. Calling him drunk is an understatement. He could barely walk on his two feet. The wall was his trusted support for walking. Asha shows a look of concern on her face. This is not the Kimani she knows.
Asha: Honey, do you know what time it is? I have been worried sick.
Kimani: How many times do I have to tell you that I’m always fine. Look, I’m back home aren’t I? I come back here to this house that I bought with my own money. So, you have no right to be asking about the time I’m coming back to my home. It is MY house. Also, you are not my mother.
Asha: This is getting worse every day. What’s troubling you to the point that you’re drinking your life away?
Kimani: You wouldn’t understand. I just hate my job.
Asha: How about you quit the job and take some time off?
Kimani: I can’t.
Asha: Why not?
Kimani: Because I need the money, okay? I need the money to pay for this house. I need money to pay for the college loans I took which have accumulated spontaneously. I need money to keep buying this alcohol which tastes so good.
Asha: No, Kimani. You can’t go on living like this.
Kimani: What do you want me to do? Huh? Throw it all away? I’ve come a long way to get to this point. No turning back now. You might as well get used to it.
Asha: If that’s the case, I don’t think I want to be with you anymore.
Asha: I said I don’t want to be with you anymore. This is not the same man that I said I wanted to get married to. You have changed Kimani. I feel neglected because you don’t talk about your problems. You don’t even do the little things for me that I used to love. All I do nowadays is to just wait for you to get home and help you freshen up for the next day so that you don’t lose your job. Do you think I want to be living like this for the rest of my life? I’m sorry but I think it’s time we go our separate ways.
Kimani: I knew it. I fucking knew it. After all I have done for you, this is the thanks I get? What more do you want?
Asha: I just want the Kimani I once knew.
Kimani: I still am. Can’t you see that I’m a mess? Things aren’t going well for me and here you are leaving me because I’m a mess. Does that mean you only love me when things are going well? Was this love of ours just convenient? I need to know.
Asha: I do love you Kimani. It’s just that I can’t keep seeing you waste the rest of your life. When the sun rises, I’ll pack my stuff and stay at Abdi’s place for a while.
Kimani: Oh. I get it now. You want to be with Abdi. I knew there was something fishy between the two of you. You were just waiting for the right time to dump me.
Asha: No. Abdi and I are just friends. He has actually been helping during this difficult time.
Kimani: Oh he has helped ruin this relationship! I can’t believe how foolish I was.
Asha: Honey, you should calm down. It’s not what you think.
Kimani: Don’t tell me what to do!!
He slaps her. Asha is shocked. He proceeds to slap her again and starts throwing punches at her. The rage in his eyes were like that of a sociopath.
Back at the theatre, Kimani cannot control his tears. Every blow he delivers also delivers on his heart. It is too much to take.
Kimani: Make it stop. Please.
The screen goes off.
Kimani: That is a day I think I will never forgive myself for. Clearly, I was someone else. A frustrated human being. Look at what the frustration caused. I lost the woman I loved, I got suspended and I’m now dead.
Zadkiel: On the bright side, you didn’t create your own hell from your actions. Otherwise we wouldn’t be here having this conversation.
Kimani: I guess you’re right.
To be continued